Avril - I Can Do Better
Satu lirik lagu yang baru gw perhatiin kemaren ini, dan bener2 empowering, did not notice it before. Nice Av, finally something in your song i can relate to:
Couldn’t give a damn what you say to me
I don’t really care what you think of me
Cause either way you’re gonna think what you believe
There’s nothing you could say that would hurt me
true true.
All there is to life?
if one day you woke up and realize that you already achieved all your goals, are living your dream. will you say “okay, that’s all there is to life. i am grateful”, step out of the bed and shoot yourself on the head?
I am just me
I am just me. I am not better than other people, not worse, not even the same. I am just me.
that’s freeing.
competition, judgement,
social conditioning
human nature.
why are we killing ourselves?
who are we kidding?
Social conditioning
@tre: New word, old concept: “Social conditioning”.
It is the word that represents all the ’should’, ‘could’ and ‘would’ in human life. Expectation, stereotype, ‘ideal’ parent, ideal child, ideal person. What’s good morally and what’s bad. Which religion to follow and which to condemn.
I think, up until now, (and i am not saying it won’t be the case in the future), i still live under heavy social conditioning. If not, what made me do all the things a 23 year old ’should be doing’ and ’should have done’? Get good grades at school, go to good college, hand out my papers on time, graduating on time, getting a ‘real’ job after college, get a descent salary, more recommended at a medium-large company.
All for what? What’s the purpose?
Run the rat race, chase after ’success’ and acknowledgement. When you are there, you realize that you are back to square one. Plus with everything to lose, everything that comes with the success becomes a burden, and you are left with no time to even LIVE.
I have always had this opinion that every single person is unique. and nobody must force or be forced to become someone they are not, or do the things they don’t naturally lean towards to.
But nonetheless, don’t take this too seriously. I am not a wise-ass. This is just part of my growth, it’s one point in my journey. Journey with no destination, lol. But it doesn’t matter. What counts is the ups and downs.
Anyway, I am currently looking for some reference on how to articulate my thoughts more clearly, express ideas, communicate concepts. I think there is still a large improvement area for my communication style. I aim to reach these three states: assertivity, brevity and clarity.
I am also trying to get more comfortable to be under the spotlight instead of squirming away and let others be the center of the attention all the time.
Ok, so from what I have gathered so far, to convey something clearly, I have to have thorough understanding on whatever I want to say. I actually know this. So perhaps, I don’t really have problem in conyeying ideas. My problem lies in understanding ideas. Haha… that comes out funny. How come this is? I am extremely good with abstract concepts, philosophizing. huh, perhaps that’s why.
Concrete ideas get communicated, fuzzy, up-in-the-cloud, socrates-y ideas are for pure entertainment.
Action plan: Play with different concepts, practice describing them in my own words. Use my sleepy lazy brain, wake up wake up!
Some keywords that will help in researching this topic:
social conditioning, convey ideas clearly, think clearly, communicate effectively, articulate thoughts clearly, communicate what you think
too many tags = ambiguity = bad communication. hahaa….
[mindump] multitasking, lack focus, ADD! lol
multitasking, lack focus, ADD! lol
duh gw bener2 ADD nih, wkwkwk… ADD yang muncul justru pas udah gede, ADD yg diciptakan sendiri. I just can’t slow down, must be active all the time. i am active but not productive.
analysis paralysis pt.2 (mindump)
mencari jalan paling mudah, paling cepat, paling handal, dan paling menguntungkan untuk maintenance jangka panjangnya
Akhirnya? over engineering. think too much, cannot make decision.
I have told myself over and over again, “I cannot have ALL information I need and then make the BEST decision”
it.is.okay.to.make.mistakes
Flownya kira-kira seperti ini:
terlalu banyak ide dan jalan yang bisa dipilih -> bingung memutuskan -> stress -> merasa tidak produktif
Ibaratnya supir taksi yang hapal mati jalanan jakarta, jalan besar, alternatif, tikus2, pintas, dan jalan2 lainnya.
Penumpang A masuk ke taksinya, minta diantar ke senen. Dalam kepala si supir taksi yang menderita analysis paralysis terjadi dialog spt ini:
“senen yah, hmmm… itu bisa lewat xxx, tp muter dikit. kalo dari arah yyy bisa langsung, agak macet sih. apa lewat abc ya? lebih jauh tapi lancar. ah, bensin udah segini lagi. apa gw isi dulu? pom bensin di deket mana ya yang enak. duh kalo gw ke pom bensin yg itu, gw harus lewat zzz dong. dari situ bisa tembus ke xxx sih. gimana enaknya ya?”
Doeehhh, cape deee….. just pick one and get going already!
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it is enough just to feel good. that makes all the difference
it’s all in my head. what i radiate
assertivity, brevity, clarity
—————-
one essential skill for programmers are recognizing and understanding patterns in applications and systems, and then knowing where to find them again when he needs to implement his own version.
cause that’s what we do, basically. copy, paste, and adjust.
—————–
gonna set up an online store. wpmu, i think. easy to hack. easy to expand.
came across a blog post about execution of ideas. i can add one more characteristic to my list:
“over engineering”
to save time in the future. over engineering, spending too much time planning for things that might not even happen
anyway, wordpress is one heck of a software. well written, good code architecture. clean, pretty good documentation
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discovered gossip girl on TV7 :p. The actor who plays nate is smokin hot. lol
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ah duuh, cerpenista keluarrrr. i want to create thaat….. :p
itulah, salah satu manfestasi ‘mere ideas are frickin worthless’, haaahaha…. implement! release early, release often.
huh.
uuuhhhhh
hahaha good lesson. success is not just a binary switch away, ideas are not everything. Yet it is not also about execution. Ten people might have the same idea, 3 might have pursued it, and perhaps only one will succeed. pursue/not. it’s not that simple
04 sept 08
Gw gak produktif kanrena gw mampu tapi tidak melakukan
Kenapa gw tidak melakukan? Karena gw tidak punya sesuatu untuk dilakukan. Tidak ada target. Tidak ada hasil akhir yang ingin dicapai.
Kalau ada target dll, gw dapat melakukan apapun. APAPUN. Bahkan gw lebih termotivasi oleh faktor eksternal. Misalnya pekerjaan yang diberikan oleh atasan, atau pihak orang lain. Gw tuh asli people pleaser banget. Jadi motivasi, tekanan dan dorongan untuk berkarya dan menghasilkan sangat besar dari expectation orang lain.
Hal ini seharusnya bisa gw manfaatkan. Karena semua yang gw kerjakan tuh SEBAIK MUNGKIN, dan menurut standar gw, itu berarti EXCELLENT QUALITY, BEST.
Skrg gw rasa gw bisa ‘trick’ myself utk termotivasi, terdorong, dll by myself, dengan sugesti dan kekuatan pikiran. Yang kurang adalah visi dan tujuan yang jelas mengenai hal yang harus dikerjakan.
Kok kayak robot yah. Agak braindead, do everything she’s been told to, and do them extremely well. But goes blank when required to generate ideas and concept by herself.
What can I do about it? Hire someone to come up with ideas?
Train myself to be a better conceptualist. Lol. That’s funny. Because I do have an abstract mind. Everything is a concept to me. Hm, then conceptualist is not the right word.
Better visionary. Have goals.
…
Or… let it flow? Ah, contradictory me.
I have a lot of ideas. It never actually matured. I just let them come and go. There were just a couple of them, always evolve as they come and go.
I have written them down, broken them down, tried to implement them. But always stuck at being confused where to start, what to do next, got bogged down at the detail of the implementation, and got lazy, and then skipped to the next idea.
I lack focused effort.
How?
Chat log with god (whatever you call the deity, entity, asdf)
Save dulu di blog, blom sempet diresapin. keliatannya mengandung banyak wisdom. Not too cheesy, pretty insightful. Sekalian sharing2 lah.
God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. Who is this?
God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.
God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don’t know. But I can’t find free time. Life has become hectic. It’s rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results.
Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can’t figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That’s why you are not happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable able, but suffering is optional.
Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don’t suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can’t we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don’t know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you road ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, “why me?” When they prosper, they never ask “Why me”. Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can’t get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not merely a process of discovery but a process of co-creation. You are my co-creator.
Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.
Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God: Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don’t believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!